wordsimageslife
an exploration of life as a parent & designer

My 60 seconds

My sixty seconds went well. I don't think I'm as nervous a speaker as I used to be and seem to have learned how to speak loudly. I didn't even use a mike and there were no complaints of not hearing me from the back of the room. In hindsight, I think we should have done something a little more creative and it would have been nice if I had previewed the slides. One slide was of a garbage-strewn inner city street, and while I appreciate that we were showing the environment that some of the kids we are helping through Art with a Heart, I think we could have done without that graphic.

The retreat itself is great and I'm truly enjoying it and learning a lot. We will take what we've learned here and share it with the rest of the board back in Baltimore when we have our local board retreat in a few weeks. I hope that much of what we have learned, we can put into action.

More later. Missing K and the kids a whole lot and as much fun as I'm having here, I really can't wait to get home.

AIGA Leadership Retreat Update

Last night was a blast. We went to the Cardinals/Cubs game at Busch Stadium. Met a nice Japanese history professor at the game and we all hung out in The Loop at this great bar called the Delmar Restaurant and Lounge, which was quite reminiscent of the Club Charles, just bigger. And our waitress, Jackie, was very good at her job. Best of luck to her on her world travels. From this professor we learned that the UofM, my alma mater, is a mecca for Japanese historians and the one place all of them want to work.

Today we had meetings but time to see the Gateway Arch but no time to go up to the top. It's quite an impressive structure and worth a second visit if I have the time, or sometime in the future with the family. So, that's the scoop from here. Off to cocktail hour and then our presentation that I get to give in front of all these people. Me, speaking in front of 200 people. Hold my breath, go slowly (yeah, with just one minute to speak) and speak clearly. Wish me luck. : ^ )

Part 1: Don't Miss This Show and Part 2: Why I Will

Live, this Friday, at the Funkbox in Baltimore's famed Federal Hill, Theresa Anderson and the Funky Meters straight from New Orleans. And where will I be? Will I be at a show that would be on my cannot miss list? Will I be at any of the Yankee vs. Orioles games, routing of course for the boys in gray. No, no. I'll be in lovely St. Louis at the AIGA Leadership Retreat. And having never been there, I'm looking forward to the adventure but will miss K and the kids a lot. Especially since I won't see them until Sunday afternoon. Ok, now I've got to go sweep the floor in the foyer before I crash.

Father's Day 2004

Today was our first Father's Day without Dad. I think I tried hard not to think about the day too much before it got here and once it was here, I managed to stay busy enough with the kids and K, as not to dwell on what was missing from the day. Granted, it was mostly a phone call and the occasional remembered card (or the belated card) but still, despite my attempts to put it out of my mind, it certainly held some significance.

The morning started out bittersweet when the kids and K gave me a picture of the kids and I with Dad last winter. It was taken during our December visit when he and Mary Ann were in New York for his treatments at Memorial Sloan-Kettering. It was the first time I'd looked closely at a picture of him since he passed and it was harder than I expected. Fortunately, my family's hugs and attention were the perfect shield from the sadness. The feeling of loss is not gone but was blunted enough to move past it and truly be able to enjoy the day. Celebrating my most important job: Dad and Husband.

Dad and Husband. The hardest and most wonderful job in the world. Fraught with many challenges; careening through the obstacle course filled with dirty diapers, vomit on the walls, building sandcastles on the beach, managing your kid's t-ball team, everything and anything life has to offer also makes it the most incredibly rewarding experience in life. And, admittedly at times, the most frustrating.

This is what time teaches us. With every change, with every challenge you have a choice. You can quit the game and live your life under a protective shell like a turtle, moving slowly and letting life pass you by. (My apologies to the turtles of the world). Or, instead, you can learn to take the good with the bad, learn from every little moment; moving with the ebbs and flows that define the rhythm of our lives. Certainly their are paths along the way that guide and misguide, but each of those path's is filled with lessons that lead us back onto the main trail. No one can promise you that this is easy street, but it is certainly, in my mind, a road paved with many heartfelt rewards.

So on this Father's Day 2004, I look at the road I'm on and realize the many challenges that lay ahead as well as the many, many rewards. Each day bringing it's own challenges and knowing in my heart, that my father is there beside me, his lessons silently guiding and informing those experiences that come from my own choices. While my life goes on, his life continues through those who loved and cherished him. And that is the greatest Father's Day gift anyone can have.

The Truth Revealed

Via G'day Mate whom I visited while passing through Dusting My Brain.

You're Watership Down!

by Richard Adams

Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Saturday

Swim practice at 9. T-ball at 11. Lunch. Clean the house. Grocery shop. Get Liam's haircut. Liam's nap time. Izzy? DInner. Sitter. Theatre. Write. Sleep. Start again tomorrow.

Lameness Becomes Me

I really feel pressured to write, so I'm taking five minutes that I really don't have, to do just that. I have a new piece going up on Design Differences that's been in my head for about a week and I just haven't had the time to explore it and write it. As for this blog, well it's been bogged down by too many things and just plain exhaustion. I still feel like I'm recovering from the weekend and I really didn't do any drinking. It was just plain old hard work and lots of fun.

Izzy has her 'first' real sleep-over tonight at her friend Cayley's house. It's just down the street, so if she get's scared or wants to come home, I've only got to go six blocks to pick her up. But really, I think she's going to be fine and it's her parents that will be restless tonight. The last time she stayed with someone else was two years ago when we had Liam, so we were a little preoccupied than to be totally worrying about how she was, though we did worry a little bit. So, tonight I anticipate will be a little strange around our house. But it's all apart of that growing-up process that none of us can stop. Last night she asked me about first grade, this is her way of handling change, she asks us to talk about what is was like for K and I in whatever activity she's about to undertake. I had many nights of speaking about when I was in kindergarten. And I think I kept telling the same story over and over—about the class duck that I got to take home for the weekend—but she never said a thing and as long as it helps, I'll do the same with every grade for the next 12 years. Whatever she needs.

So, now, my five minutes is up, but I feel as if I've accomplished at least something.

Is It Really Monday?

Exhaustion is an understatement. From Friday night's hi-net worth gala at the Zoo we went on to Saturday. At 9 am I was down at the field for my t-ball team's portion of the Bat-a-thon. Each kid gets 20 hits off the tee and they are scored based on the distance they hit the ball. Of my team of fourteen, we had one kid show-up, and it wasn't Isabella. Oh well, chalk that up to the rainout the week before and people with busy lives. After the morning event it was on to our friend's birthday party at, you guessed it, the Zoo. That lasted until around 3 pm and then it was back home to run errands for Izzy's party the next day.

Sunday morning I took care of the kids while Karen did a few more errands for the party. Then Izzy's party which went swimmingly with the exception of the artwork on the cake. Poor Cinderella looked more like Jay Leno then a princess and we were none to thrilled about that. Fortunately Izzy didn't seem to notice and I actually took a picture of the cake and sent it, with a major complaint e-mail, to the bakery. We'll see what happens with that.

Finally Sunday I spent two and a half hours at the Federal Hill Jazz Festival, volunteering in the Little Tots Lane. That was a blast but the busy weekend, and lack of sleep, was beginning to have it's effects, especially after that one big beer.

Finally came today, Monday. And wouldn't you know it, today was Flag Day. So, the whole family headed down to Fort McHenry for some patriotic music, awesome fireworks and time with our friend Heidi and her daughter, Izzy's classmate, Megan. Plus, we ran into Izzy's friend Courtney and her Mom. Liam loved the fireworks and he said the cutest thing after they were over. He said, "they were crying in the sky." How sweet is that?

That's it. My brain is fried and I need sleep. And it's almost midnight. So, before Monday is gone, I'm going to bed.

The Perks

It's been a few days since I last wrote anything and even this one is going to be rather short. Today's is Izzy's 6th Birthday. She got some really great gifts. Her Nonni B bought her a great summer outfit with matching shirt, her other 'grandmother,' Mary Ann via my own shopping prowess and clever timing of being in NYC yesterday was able to get Izzy her very first timepiece which she wore all day today when she went strawberry picking with her good friend Riley. Such are the perks of birthdays.

Thanks to the fact that is was a bank holiday I didn't have to go to work. Liam and I had lunch out as well as great walk in the rain with our umbrellas. It's been raining all day, off and on, which was great enticement for long naps for both Liam and I. Such is a perk of a day off.

Tonight K and I are going to a big shindig at the Baltimore Zoo courtesy of one of my vendors. And now it's time to get ready for that. And that is my last perk .

Apple Does It Again

Cupertino, California—June 7, 2004—Apple® today unveiled AirPort® Express, the world’s first 802.11g mobile base station that can be plugged directly into the wall for wireless Internet connections and USB printing, or thrown into a laptop bag to bring wireless freedom to hotel rooms with broadband connections. Airport Express also features analog and digital audio outputs that can be connected to a stereo and AirTunes music networking software which works seamlessly with iTunes®, giving users a simple and inexpensive way to wirelessly stream iTunes music on their Mac® or PC to any room in the house. AirPort Express features a single piece ultra-compact design weighing just 6.7 ounces, and will be available to Mac and PC users starting in July for just $129.

Ya know Father's Day is right around the corner, hint, hint. (Oh sure, I'd like to have a sand wedge too but this so so COOL).

Losing

Anybody have any suggestions on how to teach an almost six-year old that losing, even at coin toss, is not something to cry over? Now, I know all too well that losing does really suck, especially when you lose something that's important to you, but I really don't want her to be ridiculed as a crybaby. And I'm not really sure there's anything I can really do. Suggestions?

Design Differences Goes Live

Well, it's official. Design Differences my blog dedicated to design, design issues and branding has begun its life. The first post discusses, well why am I telling you here, go there for yourself to check it out. I may occasionally submit a posting simultaneously to SpeakUp and if any of them get actually posted there, I'll let you know about that.

Have a happy Sunday. Maybe we will see some sun in the morning.

Just rain

Not much to say today except that it's raining, raining and then raining some more. One of those days where you really want to take a nap and read a good book. So, what am I doing? Besides writing this brief entry, I'm catching up on some work and watching the rain while listening to one of my ITunes mixes. Izzy is creating a book, Liam is really napping and K's showering before going out shopping for Izzy's b-day. That's our Saturday so far. Oh, we did have a great breakfast together which was a nice way to start the day, without having to rush the kids off to some activity (the preschedule bat-a-thon fundraiser was cancelled due to the rain). Yep, everything made for a perfectly lazy day.

A Tribute to My Father

It's been about a month and half since my father passed away. That's given me some time to do some thinking about our relationship, which I can only describe as complicated and sometimes strained. Despite our differences, and shared uncomfortabliities, I am proud to say that my father was his own man.

Born on April 8, 1937 my father was the second child of Irving and Beatrice Bennett. At the time they lived on Riverside Drive (I think) on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. My grandfather, a somewhat gruff and mean-spirited man owned his own chemical company and was very hard on my father. His mother, Beatrice, was a strong-willed, respectful woman who worked as a model, assistant and various other positions in the NYC fashion industry. My grandmother was always fondly known as "the Director" for her innate ability to manage the lives of all around her. As far as siblings go, my father had one older sister, Barbara, who still lives in Rome, Italy.

Having had a difficult relationship with his father—my father had a much easier time raising my two sisters—than the slightly foreign and frightening object that I was. For as mean and rough as my grandfather was, my father was gentle. He was a very sweet man who functioned in the tough world of business without the ability to play the politics because he really didn't see them. He was a graduate of Tufts and I guess business politics wasn't something they taught in the chemistry curriculum. His career always centered around sales and relationships. My father's first job was with Dutch Boy paints, I'm not sure if he did sales or what, in New York. Then he was transferred or took a job in Philly where I was born, and then onto Boston. Finally my father went to work for Borg-Warner in Marietta, Ohio and moved his young family to Parkersburg, WV—right across the river from Marietta.

Once my father started working for Borg-Warner his seemingly frequent business trips became an occasion for celebration. When he came home Dad would always bring some sort of trinket, usually some giveaway from a trade show, for us kids. I still have two of my favorites. A small white model of a Concorde and a series of small trains, about N scale, on a small piece of track, set on a small wood block. Why I've treasured those two items over all these years I'm not sure, but I always associate them with my Dad and his trips.

The was one more thing I always remember, and was so typical of him trying to fit-in, was this picture he had taken with the tattoo lady from a trade show. I swear my Mother gasped when she saw the picture and was none to thrilled with it, but it was always up in Dad's office in the house. The funny thing about the picture, besides it was so not my Dad's style, was the silly, uncomfortable grin he had on his face.

Besides the gifts and pics, I remember my Father as a very giving person. He was eager to join a mental health helpline that my Mom worked with for some time. He was Mr. Super volunteer for public radio and television in Huntington. And if a friend needed a hand, Dad would be there. For his friends, Dad was someone who truly could be depended on to help out in times of need. And he was so loyal. No one can deny his true love for Marshall University football even though he was not a graduate of the university and only one of his kids graduated from there, my oldest sister Deb in 1984. It was just his passion and he honestly bled green. (I recently sent a request to Marshall to see if they could do a short memorial announcement on my father's behalf at their first home game this coming season).

During my father's funeral service, it was with a bit of bittersweet pleasure that I discovered a side of him that I hadn't really known all that well. Most of that history and those stories came from his friends and my step-brothers and sisters. For them, my father through his gentleness was a strong father figure that they really hadn't had with their biological father. And as I've mentioned, he was a good friend to those around him. Most importantly, is what he was able to give to me, and considering the circumstances, it's almost suprising.

One of the last things I said to my father, that I knew he heard and understood, was the following: "Thanks Dad for making me such a good father." It was his gift to me that I'm not even sure he knew he had given me. To me it's worth more than all the money in the world and certainly something that I will be able to share forever with my children and honor his memory with. I have my father's gentleness and sensitivity—most of the time—but also through his own insecurities, I am able to see mine more clearly and work to resolve them. This is not a chance that he ever had. Sure, it's a struggle for me as most of us struggle on some level with life in general. But that gift he gave me is such a wonderful thing that it makes the struggle that much easier. More importantly I am able to give so much back to my kids and family and I not sure I would be able to do that as much if my Dad had been some kind of super-businessman. You know the absent father type who leaves all the raising of the children to Mom. I have to thank someone that my father wasn't that type of person despite my own immature desires for him to be someone he never was. For that Dad, posthumously, I apologize. I guess that's the one thing I did forget to do before you died. But it seemed more important to tell you what I was grateful for rather than that which I was just stupid about.

While there are many other stories to share, some I know and others I don't, now is not the time or place for those. This is my way of sharing with the world that a man most people didn't know but would have been proud to has gone but left value behind. And that is the ultimate blessing. God bless you Dad, God bless you.

the king of pain

King of Pain by The Police

Without going into a lot of detail, decisions were made today that caused a good friend pain. I can't even tell you if the decision was the right one but I know that turned out to be more difficult then I imagined and I will forever wonder if there really was a choice.

Knowing that something you have to do is going to hurt someone who has been important to you is probably one of those things in life that we'd all like to avoid but the reality pointed in other directions. Since I've been dealing with a lot of loss lately, I can just add this to the list. I'm not looking for sympathy so please don't give any. Life goes on. That's what they say. The pain will lessen with time but will the hole ever fill?

Later this week keep your eyes out for the launch of Design Differences, a blog. Now, go read a good book or something. Don't wait around here. There's nothing more to see.