As most of us know, life itself is inherently unfair. We find things we want at a time when we can't have them and some times those things that we have, aren't quite what we once thought they were. And to truly succeed one must adapt and change or choose to lose, it's really that simple.
So, on this Memorial Day, while we all pause to remember those who have lost their lives serving their country, let us salute their willingness to adapt and change despite the dangers they faced in battle. War is the ultimate battleground and the heat of battle is full of constant change. Adaptation can be the difference between life and death, and the enemy's bullet often the final judge. Let us for one day ignore the politics and show our support of our troops, young American men and women, who are risking their very being for all of us, despite the risks and the unknowns. They are all heroes to us all. Every last one of them.
By now, most American's know that Pat Tillman, a former member of the Arizona Cardinals, left a $3.6 million contract in the NFL to join the army after the events of Sept. 11, 2001. Many also know that Tillman died for his country while serving in the army in Iraq.
The news today is who actually fired the shots that killed Tillman. And my question, aimed mostly at the media, is, "Does it really make a difference?" What is the real point of this story? Why does it qualify as news considering that the guy is dead? It seems to me that since no one is being charged with a crime, no one is going be arrested or falsely accused for murder, then bringing this story to light doesn't do anyone any good. Tillman is still a hero. Not so much for dying in a war that we probably shouldn't be in at this point, but for giving up a NFL career and the money that came along with it to serve his country. That is the mark of a true hero and role model.
So, let us not sully the name of Pat Tillman because no one can truly figure out who made the deadly shot. I think in any battle situation, it can be quite difficult to decide who's gun shot who, and none of this is going to bring back the man that people miss and who gave his life to a cause bigger than himself, and bigger than any of us.
I don't want to sound like I am advocating censorship. What I am saying is that sometimes the news itself does more damage then help in a situation where it wasn't even necessary to publish the news. And really, is this story newsworthy? I remember from my journalism classes a long time ago that certain stories while interesting didn't necessarily make good copy. And while this story is interesting, I think it makes lousy copy and while maybe not intentional, certainly has the affect of knocking a dead war hero slightly off the pedastel that those who remember him put him on. But since he was a true hero before he died, maybe the public will keep that in mind when they read this story and more importantly when they remember the man himself.
Just back from NYC, where I said goodbye to my boss who's off to work for Schroeder in NY. Since it's late, quick summary of my day. Had good meetings with a couple of contacts in the industry and my little PR piece from International Paper has hit the streets. Went to a wonderful AIGA New York event last night at the Fashion Institute of Technology called Fresh Dialogue which was a very interesting program and I met a few people that I'd heard of but hadn't met before. Plus, ran into a friend who used just graduated from UMBC and was back home in NY. So, that was pretty cool.
That's it. Izzy's kindergarten graduation is in 7.5 hours, and I need at least four hours of sleep.
You know as one gets older, one expects the occasional death of people we know, usually the elderly or sometimes, tragically, someone our own age. We found out last night that a one-time friend of K's, who over the years became more of an aquaintance, had committed suicide. She was a single-parent of a five-year old (he was at his father's when this act occurred) and really was at a time a very close friend of K's. She was there the first night I actually met K and for awhile their friendship stayed close. But it was not meant to last. We saw Martha every once and awhile around but never for very long and she was not well. She suffered from depression and fibromyalgia which left her in such pain at night that she was unable to take care of her young son. She ended up having to change custody arrangements with her ex-husband so that he would watch their son at night.
I think I've had enough death for one year. Really. When I heard about Martha I was sad but not deeply moved. I think that my grief over the loss of my father tempered any reaction, emotionally, to Martha's passing away. That and the fact that we really had lost touch with her over the years. Most of my feelings were for her son who is now left behind without a Mom. For that I am very sad for I now know what it's like to lose a parent but I have no idea what it's like for a five-year old. Hang in there kid, I think it gets easier.
Okay, this quiet time (well if you consider writing to Outkast as quiet time) on my deck, java in hand, overlooking part of the city skyline, a breeze pushing away the humidity, is almost over. It's almost time to get down to the work of the day. K and the kids are at church but should be home soon.
Since yesterday was so busy, today is stacked with errands, chores, budgeting and other household management duties. I even managed to get one load of laundry in the washer. But as you can see I've been working harder on writing this morning then taking care of the house. So, as soon as I'm done with this little summary, that will change.
Yesterday's wedding brought out a lot of emotions for me, no, I did not cry, but I did get a bit melancholy after we got home last night. (Oh sure, I did have two drinks but can't really blame on that, it was only two and I kept them on the 'light' side due to the heat, and I only drank with dinner). But I'll figure out what I want to write about it later, since it involves so much of what any of us are, or have been through with family or our own spouses, or even friends. Just thought I'd sneak it in to whet your appetites for something interesting to come.
Okay, I should at least get the load I put into the washer into the dryer or it doesn't really count for much. To all my friends who are working outdoors today, stay cool and drink plenty of fluids (preferably non-alcoholic). To my friend working a super long day inside, at least you'll be cool. To my Mom who I think is still in Minnesota with her friend Liz, travel home safely. And congratulations to Mrs. D on her award, I know it's much deserved. To my sisters in Atlanta, you can really, really have this weather back. It's too hot for May as far as I'm concerned. May all of you spend the day being happy, singing a happy song in your head or outloud with your kids or to yourself if that works, and really, really have a fabulous day.
While I'm on a roll of writing, I wanted to throw out something for consideration to the people who actually take the time to read this blog. It's obvious that this has become more of a personal outlet but I still want to be writing about design. So, I'm considering starting another blog dedicated to my thoughts, theories and rantings on what's going on in design, branding and business. Now, whether you would read it or not should not way in your voting decision, and I'm not even sure why I'm putting it up for a vote. But here it goes, should I or shouldn't I start blog number 2, dedicated to that which is my current life's work?
Terps lost yesterday to Princeton in OT in the NCAA Lacrosse Quarterfinals. While that other school from Baltimore had an easier time with North Carolina and is in the Final Four. Nothing more to say about that. (For those of my friends who choose to route for that Baltimore team, I offer you my congratulations and wish you well going forward.)
Baltimore, Maryland-May 22, 2004-- Well, Jen and Bill are now Mr. and Mrs. Jen and Bill Whatever Last Names They Choose and I do kind of like the Lockadugan thing that they seem to have created all on their own. In any case, Mazel Tov. It was a beautiful ceremony and all there had a great time. Even the cicadas managed to fill the air with their song, and it just seemed to fit, or it was just too damn loud to ignore. So, I guess you could say the bugs were being tactfully blunt during the Dugan-Lockard wedding.
On the menu, were some fabulous hor'doerves like shrimp wrapped in coconut, really cool bread sticks, one the standard cheese and the other in bacon and either honey or some sort of sweet syrup. Whatever it was exactly, it was great. The double entree was totally rocking. Rare sesame tuna and rare, so sweet you could still hear the moo, filet mignon. Okay, now it wasn't cool in the middle but it was certainly very, very rare. And as far as I'm concerened, in my most carniverous self, that's the way it should always be. We ended having to leave before the cake got cut, we'd already been gone 5 hours, so we could relieve the sitter, so we missed out on the cake, but hey, the most important part was the wedding, and we made that.
We also met some really great people. I finally got to meet Todd and Heather in person. Also met Jen's twin sisters, who look a lot like her, as well as looking a lot like their Mom. Plus there was Heather, the designer at McDonogh School, who in this too small Baltimore world knows my friend and fellow DB designer, Jamie Frailey and his wife, who is also a designer, who works for herself. Jamie heads directs the design for the Alex. Brown channel. His team is Design by 5 who I've mentioned here before.
There was one adorable little kid named Ira, a great name as far as I'm concerened and much overlooked, who lives with his parents in Southern Maryland. His dad is a landscaper for a lawyer with way too much money and 40 acres of boxwoods.. Well, he has more than just boxwoods but apparentley has enough of them, that they alone take enough time to make it a year-round job. The coolest thing is this guy can swim to work, though I'm not sure he really does that. We were all talking about how nice it is to be able to work outside, and I chimed in with my "Yeah, I love taking my laptop down by the Harbor and working waterside." That's me and manual labor. Something I'd rather avoid. Not that I haven't done my fair share. I remember in high school when my friends and I cleaned up an abandoned country club that was going to soon be refurbished. It was a total mess and a lot of hard work on a hot day. But you know what, doing it with a group of friends made it fun and not really like work at all. I think that says a lot about working in a team environment, at least for me.
Well, back to the topic at hand. Despite the hot weather, everyone had a great time at the wedding and the newly married couple fly out Monday for their European honeymoon. (Guys, can I hide in your luggage?)
So, with this post I will wish the newlyweds a hearty Mazel Tov and all the best. You guy deserve so much happiness together and I am incredibly happy for both of you.
It's a Friday night and K's out on the neighborhood Mom's Night Out, and I've got the house, the tv and two sleeping kids to myself. (Well, at least they are quiet right now). I never got to see School of Rock, so now seemed as good as anytime. I always love these kind of movies.
A bad week for my friends in Chicago. Practically the entire management staff of our retail marketing arm was laid-off. From inside, this can be looked at as a political move (all managers associated with a former head of marketing who was also let go a week or so earlier) or from the business perspective, the fact that our company is still losing money, we had too many people for our size and the only way to get the business in the black, is to lower our overall expenses. So, you get rid of the big salaries, the other overhead that came with them and move on. It's hard to look at it without getting personal when you cared and liked the people who are getting let go. But with all the information in hand, and that fact is that it is business, it seems like those in charge did what they had to do, and I'm sure there will be more. And I'm not even sure how safe I am, but I'll be up in NYC next week and hopefully get some questions answered, however subtly I have to go about it.
The weekend plans are quite hectic, at least tomorrow. First, the Inner Harbor Studio Tour 2004, which my committee is putting on. Then at 1 pm, I have a T-ball game that I can't attend for very long because at 2 pm, the event of the day, my very good friends Bill and Jen are getting married. Then it's back home to play with the kids and get ready for a Sunday full of errands.
And to the person who took up a good part of my evening on the phone, thanks. It's always wonderful to talk to such a good friend.
Kate Hudson. Intelligent, beautiful and married with children. (that's reality but well, you know....)
A world of work where ones friends don't get layed off. Reality, find a business that isn't losing money.
Five-year olds who never whine or cry.
Two-year olds who don't answer no to almost every request.
Friends who didn't leave the city for the suburbs.
A long, perfect kiss in the rain. (Well, this might happen after the kids have grown and left home)
A winning game seven against the BoSox every year.
A continuous supply of hot, fresh H&H bagels.
Outkast at my next party. Oh, that's right, we only entertain every five or ten years.
Someone to say that four to six hours of sleep is really, really adequate.
I rarely cry over actors passing away but Tony Randall is someone I can shed a tear over losing. (registration needed). One of my favorite shows in the world has to have been the Odd Couple and while I always related more to Oscar Madison than good, old straight laced Felix Unger, I always felt an odd respect for his character. And as I grew, I grew to respect the man who created that character, more than I guess I even knew.
So, please, take a moment of slience in honor of not only a great actor, but a human being of the highest quality. Tony, you will be truly missed. Sleep peacefully. Sleep peacefully.
Well, it seems that my friend Martin, who was not my favorite boss of all time, is leaving the company. His last day will be next Friday and while I will miss the friend he's been over the past four years, I think my job will be more comfortable without his bossdom. In other words, Martin, best of luck where ever the road takes you.
After a couple of recent discussions I've become even more clearly focused on debunking the myth of suburban life. Particularly the role of backyards:
Backyards #1: Why do people have backyards? So you can put your kids in the back and stay in the house and get things done. Right? Not the quality family time you get when you have to take your kids to the park that's four blocks away. It's a convenient dumping zone. And for me, I'll take the playing with my kids in the park over the convenience of a backyard.
Backyards #2: Where do most kids, especially in the 'burbs, spend their time. Why on the sidewalks and streets in front of their houses. Really, I lived in the burbs as a kid and that's exactly what we did. Really. How about you? Did you really spend that much time in the back you your house? I mean, sure, we would walk in the woods out back but not all that much. And if you want hiking, I'm sure going to a nearby state park is a bit safer then on wooded cow pastures.
Backyards #3: The dog. In the city, people have to walk their dogs. It builds community and friendships in every city neighborhood I ever lived in, even to the point of almost cliqueness. Same things goes for parents with kids. But in the 'burbs, what do we do? Do we spend as much quality time with Fido? Nah, just open the door and set him free. Hope he comes back before dark. Hope you own kid doesn't step in the you know what lying around free in the neighborhood.
These are my opinions. Driven by the fact that I will always try to convince my friends to stay in the city, because, well, I'm going to miss them if they are gone. And trust me, I know from experience, that a fifteen-minute drive from the city seems much farther than eight blocks ever will be.
Someday you just wouldn't trade for anything. This morning, I got lucky with Isabella going to lunch with a friend at the Rainforest Cafe, Karen went to church and then to swimming, which left Liam and I together alone. Well, we just had a ball. We took the wagon and headed for the park. The weather was much cooler than yesterday though still a bit humid. We played catch with ball and glove, rode down the slide, went on the swing and just hung out and laughed together over next to nothing. Liam's hunter instincts came out as he chased the birds in the park. ("I want to say hi to birdie"-sure son go ahead, then a primal yell and a short chase until the bird flys off-"the birdie flew away, daddy"). Then of course, we played in the sandbox for with a few other kids for awhile. Then we walked home, with Liam pulling the wagon all the way home, to have lunch. It may not sound like much, but it was a fabulous morning and great father/son time. (Plus he was decked out in Yankee gear!!). Well, now it's nap time for him and time for me to do some gardening. In case you think this is a normal day, here's a synopis of yesterday.
Yesterday was quite busy, with my haircut at 9 (Liam came with me and behaved wonderfully), Izzy's gymnastics at 9:15, then Izzy and I at t-ball from 11 to almost 1 pm in the heat of the day while Liam went shoe shopping with Mommy. Lunch with Izzy and then her haircut at 2 pm. Finally, I did three hours of shopping (my once a month visits) at Sam's Club and Walmart (there's you always find something unexpected there) plus a visit to one of our favorite nurserys in Baltimore while the rest of the family took an afternoon snooze. Many dollars later and more miles on the car than I'd like to count, I got home around 7:40, just in time for Mom to take Izzy out shoe shopping.
Why are kids show sometimes so much smarter than adults?
Things are always changing
So don't be sad or blue
'Cause when things change
They bring you something new
Enough said?
It was with great surprise that our friends let us know, last weekend, that they had bought a house in Lutherville. They are planning on moving in July and we will miss them very much. I just hope that we don't lose touch like we have with other friends who have gone the way of the 'burbs. Another family we are close with, our kids are all about the same ages, are moving at the end of this month to the lovely hamlet of Severna Park. Let me just note that neither of these places seem to even have their own web sites. Now I know that our friends moving 15 minutes to the south, it's really about family, his parents, and one can't argue with that. But why doesn't anyone ever think of doing the reverse, having the parents move their house and boat here to the city?
Now ever since I was a kid I always wanted to live in a city. For me it was really NYC but as life would have it, for now it's Baltimore. I 'd still love to live in NYC but someone would have to pay me a whole lot of money to afford where and how I'd want to live with my family. In some ways it would be a homecoming, as it's the same neighborhood that my parent's grew-up in.
Now I know the schools in the city aren't great and everyone seems to think having grass is like gold. But really, we're four blocks from the park, there's plenty of grass there and I'm not responsible for mowing it. The kids can play safely there, the playground in enclosed, and there's tons of space for running around. As for schools, it's just a matter of either picking the right public school, parochial or if you can afford the price of a college education, than one of the many private schools in the area. (And let's see, the suburbs are safer? Really? See this story.)
I think the real key to successful education of children is parental participation. Not how much you spend to get them in the door. Now, of course, you also have to have teacher's who really enjoy teaching and get paid well enough to continue teaching. I always find it interesting that teacher's in the county get paid more than teacher's in the city. You'd think the city woudl get it's act together and do what it needs to do to compete. Of course in Baltimore, the public school system faces a financial crisis because of poor management. So, until we can get clear leadership at the top, the school system will suffer as a bloated, political mess that works more on the needs of career bureaucrats than its own students.
In any case. we've got no plans on moving out and we will miss our friends a whole lot. And will make a conscious effort to get together as often as possible. But it's still sad to know they won't be right down the street.
I made it through the day without killing a living, green thing. Really. I know you find it hard to believe that I could have gone a full twenty-four hours without pulling up a single perennial, but really, I swear that my killing spree is over. The plants of the world are once again safe and I will never, ever harm another perennial again. Unless otherwise directed by wiser gardeners.
Now, let's talk about hats. More specifically, baseball hats. I know that this is going to create a little bit of a stir, seeing as this is a Baltimore based blog, but here we go. Liam's favorite hat is the NY Yankee hat I got him from the Yankee Team store on 42nd St. last year. I grew up a Yankee fan, my grandfather has season tickets, 3rd base side, field box, and no matter where I've lived, I've always been a true, blue Yankee fan. Yes, even in the dreaded parts of the 70's and 80's when the Yankees couldn't seem to even make the playoffs. I was there. Still a fan.
So back to the hats. A family member bought Liam an Oriole hat and had him wear it out in public. Of course, my friends and neighbors—even the one who routes for the Red Sox—all literallly applauded this change of hats—man that hurts. I, of course, was less than thrilled. I know it seems silly how seriously I treat this but it's genetic, I swear. My grandparents were Yankee fans, my Dad was a Yankee fan and now, that I have my own kids, well I'm damn certain to raise them as Yankee fans. That doesn't mean they have to like them as much when they are old enough to decide on their own, I just hope they love the game of baseball, but this little competition of the hats is really getting my goat. I mean, I take my allegiance to the team probably to seriously, meaning it really bothers me to see my kids wearing the hat of a competing team, even if they are the local team. The only thing worse would be wearing a Red Sox hat.
Of course, anything National League doesn't count. I'm wearing a Phillies hat right now, that's the t-ball team that Izzy is on and that I manage, and it's a non-issue. But if it's a hat from the AL East then it should only be one hat, and one hat only. I don't mean to be rigid, but I really don't want my kids to grow up confused. Sure, I'm possibly setting them up for a little ridicule from their friends, but that's just good natured sports fun. So, now that you all know I'm totally nuts when it comes to baseball and I'm probably being a horrible parent by pushing this on my kids, Izzy's favorite player is Derek Jeter, I can't help myself. And I can't help getting annoyed when certain people try to push other teams on the kids. Which I know is totally hypocritical but I know that this person in no way can match my passion for the Yankees, and based on that, I think I'm totally in the right and my annoyance is justified.
Now, all of you, go play ball!
As I am working on about three hours of sleep, this will be a short post. It seems that in a typical male way (surprise, surprise, even 'sensitive guys' have typical male behaviors) it seems that I may have uprooted a couple of other perennials. Now what drives a certain person a little mad is that I cannot honestly remember if I did it. I'll accept responsibility since the odds are that I did, but the truth is I really don't remember.
Some people may not understand this. But the situation was I was weeding, mowing and watching Liam and making sure he didn't get in any trouble. (Not to worry, the mower is sans power. Just the old-fashioned push kind) Liam did help with some of the raking and gardening but I know he didn't pull anything up. So, that would leave me and the potential of a neat perennial thief in the neighborhood (resale value is questionable here, so that's a long shot at best). I am not trying to abdicate responsibility here, I really just don't remember. Apparently, that was a little too much honesty.
That and saying, after I was suprising told that a certain person essentially followed the progress of said flowers daily over the past year, "their just plants" was like throwing gas on an open flame. In any case, I've learned my botanical lessons and will never pull anything again closely resembling anything but weeds I do know. And for the lovers of the plants in this world, who I just don't totally understand, let me just say, more flower power to you.
Really, in all honesty, we will probably laugh about this in fifty years. But for those husbands out there who really need to know, I think I can actually cover the five things you shouldn't do on Mother's Day pretty quickly and then move on with life. Hold on, here we go.
1. Never buy a Mother's Day card on Mother's Day at 10:45 am
This may seem obvious, especially to me and the other guy in the store doing the same thing at the same time, he who said "you should be ashamed of yourself buying a MD card on MD." I, of course, replied, "I really am ashamed." And the reality is the selection totally sucks. So do be smart, buy early. There are many more cards to choose from at that time.
2. Don't wait until the day before to start throwing out ideas for how the family should celebrate.
Now for some guys, this is a no brainer. For those of us organizationally impaired, either situationally or by a lifetime affliction, take heed. Think ahead. Sure, your wife may be just plain hard to please or in some cases, never happy with the choices you make, but go ahead, take the risk. You'll always get credit for the attempt, even if whatever you dream up totally sucks. It's much better than throwing out an idea mentioned by a neighbor on the day before. (Another Mom wouldn't you know).
3. Make sure all the chores your wife may usually take care of—or are usually done on Mother's Day—are finished and out of the way the day before, no matter how late you have to stay up.
Your dear wife should have not a finger to lift on her appointed day. In other words you are really her slave for the entire weekend and you better get all those chores done on Saturday or your Sunday will be quite not what anyone expected.
4. When your wife is VERY mad (see #5) don't tell her that you left your five and a half year-old watching your two-year old in the driveway. (Even if your five and half-year old did exactly what she was told and both kids stayed in the driveway when you ran back into the house for a few minutes).
Now, I guess this depends on the relationship your wife has with you and the kids. But let's face it, an angry woman is not always going to be thinking positive thoughts and often the projecting phenomena takes place, and usually with Moms it's of their kids running down the driveway, into traffic and getting hit by a car. Even if the driveway just leads to a seldom busy driveway access road. So, if you do happen to leave the kids in the driveway for a sec, just don't mention it to your beloved.
And now, ladies and gentleman, the BIG, BIG number FIVE. The whopper with all the works and the thing that only time and more money can overcome.
5. Never mistaken perennials for weeds and well, you know, dig them up and trash them.
Women in general, and many men, take their gardens and plants very seriously. Very, very seriously. And making such a mistake as mentioned above on Mother's Day subjects you to words and things unspeakable in this family friendly forum. Let's just say, it's a heck of a way to kick off your Mother's Day celebration. Even if it was an accident, do not attempt in any way to defend your actions. Even if the damn plant did look like a flowering weed (which do exist). Actually at this point, if you are a very smart man, you will say nothing. Oh sure you can try a humble apology but be assured you will have to wait for the storm of fury to pass before your words will even reach their intended destination.
Well, that's it in a scoop. And really there is only one way to remedy all of this. One must be totally deferential for the rest of the day (don't consider this a passive defense, it is very much an offensive move). Make sure that every whim and concern is addressed without grumbling and mumbling. Additionally, spend 1.5 hours cleaning the inside of your car, making sure to wipe every possible surface, vacuum every conceivable and reachable corner so that they only thing your wife can say is "Wow honey, the car looks great." You must also buy her new perennials, of her choice, and then promptly plant them in the areas where the weedy-looking ones were. Now, memorize these spots, burn them into your brain so that next year, when you are pulling up things that you assume are weeds, you will not mistaken these lovely perennials for that which makes up most of your lawn. Finally, no matter the hour of day, say 11:30 pm), still do the grocery shopping you were supposed to get done the day before after you mopped the kitchen floor.
So, when you are feeling that life sucks, and if any of the five above happen to you on MD, you may well be right. The only thing you can do is swallow your male ego (no matter how innocent your mistakes) and get your shit together, very quickly and with much confidence. Do this and you will survive to see another Mother's Day. If you don't, well my friends, that is a story for another time, wouldn't you say?
That's it. Again I hope all my friends out there had a wonderful Mother's Day. The weather was picture perfect and that helps a lot if you find yourself in a little mess. It also helps to have really, really cute kids to help calm things down a bit. And a perfect family outing can be found in Baltimore's Leakin Park. So, if you are into fun that costs little, check it out. You'll be glad you did. Happy Monday.
This entry is to only show that the world is a far from perfect place. Today during t-ball, I witnessed a parent lashing out verbally at her special needs son because he got thrown out at first base. First, let us remember that these kids are only five and six-years old. I mean this woman was screaming at the kid and threatening to take him off the team, yadda, yadda, yadda. I was absolutely stunned. I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to just scream at that woman that she needed to treat her son a hell of a lot better than she was. But I certainly couldn't do that in front of my team, they wouldn't necessarily understand why I was yelling at an opposing player's mother, and many questions would arise.
To make matters worse for this kid, he has a twin brother who appears to be a 'normal' kid and plays ball really well. So obviously he must be compared everyday to that brother who fits in and does things like other kids, while he does things his own way. Anyhow, this kid came up to bat again in the third inning. One part of me wanted me to tell my team to let him get a hit, not really hard in t-ball, but I decided against that. So, he come up to bat, his coaches helping him swing, he makes contact and the ball goes in between the pitcher and third base, toward the shortstop, a slow roller. This kid is walking toward first (for some reason he doesn't run) and gets to the base before the throw. I start telling him, as loud as possible, what a good job he did and actually walk over and ask him for a high-five. I tell my first baseman to tell the kid that he did a good job and I make sure he knows to go to second when the next batter hits the ball. Through all of this, I swear his mother said nothing. I was outraged but still, couldn't say a word.
This whole incident made me think how lucky I am that both our kids don't have any special needs, other than the normal ones like love, support and caring. The things any parent should be capable of giving. I'm not saying one should never yell at their kids but I would certainly not scream at my daughter if she got thrown out at first base in a t-ball game. First, it's just a game and we don't keep score, and the kids are there to learn the very basics of baseball. I cannot fathom treating anyone the way that mother chose to treat her son. She's obviously lost and I can only pray that she finds her way. As for him, I hope that he can find ways in this life to survive and grow beyond the lack of love and support that he faces from her.
And tomorrow, well today, is Mother's Day.
(Happy MD to Karen and my Mom. And all the Mom's who happen to read this posting)
It's not often I find myself at a loss of prose but the past few days, things have occurred that have changed my view on many things and I have found myself closely examining the simple concept of fate.
Fate. Fate is what drives much of the relationships in our life. The dictionary defines fate as follows:
.
1. a. The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.
b. The inevitable events predestined by this force.
2. A final result or consequence; an outcome.
3. Unfavorable destiny; doom.
4. Fates Greek & Roman Mythology. The three goddesses, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, who control human destiny. Used with the.
Where do I go from here? It may be a bit late, or me a bit tired to actually make sense of this course of thought. Is it fate that those soldiers were to sadistily, blatantly and wantonly abuse their Iraqui captives. I mean they were National Guardsmen for goodness sake, what put them in charge of that prison? What moral upbringing led them to treat fellow human beings like that? I have friends who have committed to moving out of the country if Bush is re-elected? What is their fate? Guess we'll know in November. And honestly, this is the first time in my life that I can actually remember being embarrassed about being an American. And this is not to say I don't support the troops fighting in Iraq, but what we have done there is indefensible in any theatre of war. War is ugly and I'm sure there have been unspoken horrors committed on all sides throughout history. But these guys, and girls, took pictures as if it was some sort of joke. We've all seen them. If you are anything but shocked you need your head examined. And if you have difficulty understanding that, turn it around. Imagine the outrage here if those were Iraqui soldiers doing those things to American soldiers. In either case, one could say it's a cruel twist of fate.
I really think I started to think about fate when Isabella, in trying to answer the question of why people die, came up with the amazing conclusion that "G-d needed them to do a job." Much better than my, "I don't really know the answer honey." But we've all heard it before, "your time will come up." It's like we expect our death to be a scheduled occurrence And was it fate that my father would not only die on his birthday, a blessing in Judaism, but also on the holiday considered the happiest of the year. (another blessing). Or do we think that all of these things are actually random and nothing happens for a reason?
And certainly we could extend this whole fate or not fate thing to a more personal level. Is it fate that brings lovers together? Are our life partners predetermined, and if so, why do so many marriages now end in divorce. I mean if we were all fated to be with our partners, you'd think fate would make them last forever. And how do explain a seemingly random connection that becomes a spectacular friendship? Good reason would say fate but would a more reasonable mind question the whole thing or just try not to explain it? Honestly, I don't believe in that only one person in the world theory of 'true love'. I think most of us have been enough relationships that could have but didn't seem fated for permanency. Does this make them more random or does fate truly control our destiny? Certainly we have control over some things, we must, for this is how we make the decisions on how to deal with what fate has dealt us.
Okay, it's late and I still have to make sandwiches for Izzy's school picnic tomorrow. May fate bring you this way again where only fate, and maybe me, will know what I write about next.
In any other sense, this would just be damn funny. A human being made depressed by meatball sub. I can just hear Jay Leno's audience cracking up at the headline. But it's a true story. I found myself ravenous, entered the local Subway—a place I hardly ever frequent—and ordered something I rarely order, a meatball sub. For a normal person it is just a sandwich, for me, it was one of my Dad's favorites.
Now, I've been known to read into things a little much and even, yes even, to whine every now and then. But that one sandwich flipped my mood to match the grey skies and steady rain that fell most of the day today. And why do I need to share this? Well, hell, I don't know what else to do with it. I mean I could sit on it, but I already know that makes me short-tempered and irritable (just ask my family) as well as very sleepy. Matter of fact, I'm not sure where I'm getting the energy to type this because what I really want to do is go to bed and hide under the covers. (I used to love doing that as a kid, with a flashlight and my favorite comics).
And seeing that there is no comic book here, and the only hand-written journal around is my now 'travel' journal all that was left was my on-line version of my daily sojourn. Which as of late, is much like a trampoline, up and down, up and down, with the occasional somersault thrown in for good measure.
And since I think I know most of the people who take time out of their busy lives to read something about mine, well, I'm out to share. I don't need replies so much as a little sunshine, a good round tomorrow (courtesy of a printer buddy of mine) and not to buy any more meatball subs for a long while. Besides, I like Italian grinders much better anyways. What was I thinking?
Harder to Breathe from the album Songs About Jane by Maroon 5
Today is the annual South Baltimore Little League parade. A special thank you to the Philadelphia Phillies for sending me, and allowing me to use, their logo for our parade banner. Will have make sure they get a picture of the kids with the banner. That's the banner that I got up at 6 am this morning to get a dowel from Lowes this morning. Yes, I got up at 6 for something other than an early morning tee time. Shocking, isn't it?
Well, today is also special because it's my little sister Elizabeth's birthday. Happy Birthday Sis!!! She's celebrating by attending this weekend's big music festival in Atlanta, also known as Music Midtown with my older sister and her husband. Hope ya'll have great time.
Well, I've been totally distracted by other things and now, it's time to get moving.