Reading a friend's recent post, I realize I don't really write they way I used to. I used to explore the literary form with a little bit more wit and strong use of wonderful strategies such as: ie, “the kid's art table appeared as if a hurricane had stopped by and spent the day” or “my laptop screen's hinges are looser than girl's in the red light district” (I'm trying hard so these are not remotely funny). And why am I writing about this now? Why am I writing at all?
Writing for me is almost therapy, like taking a seat on the couch with someone who's gone to school for four more years, spent a few years with exciting titles like resident and intern and compiled enough debt to make them pricey as hell. All of this, so you can share your inner most thoughts and have them analyzed. So, that's why I write. It's cheaper than a shrink. (Why are psychiatrists called shrinks? It's not like someone's brain gets smaller or something).
Today I have no patience for the kids. No patience for my "best friend" commenting that the cover image on a brochure I designed isn't up-to-par (in her opinion) for the piece—nothing else about the brochure just the photo comment. Honestly, I just want to be left alone, put on an island, also known as running errands by myself, where I can load the CD player with music only I like to listen too and think without any interference from the outside world. Of course, I'm not this way everyday. My only other choice would be too sleep and that's not possible. At least I know to take my mood away from everyone and put it to good use by getting things done. And I want to sneak up to the park and try out my new pocket kite and see if it will really fly.
Is there anything wrong with wanting a day alone when you are married and have children? Should I feel guilty or just do what I need to do and try to be as nice as possible about it? Talking to me when I'm like this is a lot like having a conversation with Oscar the Grouch. Biting and annoyed at the slightest thing.
Time to go, too many people in the room. Would hate to be criticized for not paying attention to them.
Posted by robdesign at August 6, 2005 12:49 PM | TrackBackIt doesn't mean anything is wrong with you,it means you are human.Everybody needs alone time.It's vital.
Posted by: emily at August 8, 2005 05:57 PMYou got that right. Alone time is critical to maintaining one's sanity. You can't dedicate every.waking.moment to another's well-being without sacrificing something of yourself in the process. S'truth.
Posted by: tbtine at August 11, 2005 05:09 PM