wordsimageslife
an exploration of life as a parent & designer

Death Darkens Our Door

You know as one gets older, one expects the occasional death of people we know, usually the elderly or sometimes, tragically, someone our own age. We found out last night that a one-time friend of K's, who over the years became more of an aquaintance, had committed suicide. She was a single-parent of a five-year old (he was at his father's when this act occurred) and really was at a time a very close friend of K's. She was there the first night I actually met K and for awhile their friendship stayed close. But it was not meant to last. We saw Martha every once and awhile around but never for very long and she was not well. She suffered from depression and fibromyalgia which left her in such pain at night that she was unable to take care of her young son. She ended up having to change custody arrangements with her ex-husband so that he would watch their son at night.

I think I've had enough death for one year. Really. When I heard about Martha I was sad but not deeply moved. I think that my grief over the loss of my father tempered any reaction, emotionally, to Martha's passing away. That and the fact that we really had lost touch with her over the years. Most of my feelings were for her son who is now left behind without a Mom. For that I am very sad for I now know what it's like to lose a parent but I have no idea what it's like for a five-year old. Hang in there kid, I think it gets easier.