In times like these, I often find myself questioning the existence of a higher being that is actually just. In a discussion with my step-sister last night we came to the conclusion that in this G-d, if that entity exists, came up empty in the just and fair clause of life. Yes, we can say that possible our time on earth is pre-determined but it is certainly not a rationale process. And if you ask my other step-sister, we are all pawns in someone else's somewhat demented game.
An interesting note to all of this is how Judiasm handles these kinds of situations, which is incredibly appropriate. In Jewish law you must have a minyan (10 men or 10 women who have been bar/bat mitvahed) to hold a service. When I asked the Rabbi about coming to services he said that would be fine but he would not be able to count me for the minyon because I did not have an obligation to be at services. The teachings acknowledge that a person may not be all that happy about praying to G-d in a time like this and therefore, one's obligation is not in synagogue but to be with loved ones in this time of tragic loss.
This is not a discussion really whether a higher power exists because that it totally up to the individual and based solely on their faith. I will not, and cannot, argue what any of you believe is right or wrong. In my mind, it just is. Is who you are and how you live your life. The only thing that is clear, and consistent, is that throughout all history, even in the time before Q2QQJudaism and Christianity, human beings have always seeked out a 'higher being' to explain the unexplainable. A good resource for this is Joseph Campbell's book and The Power of Myth. I personally found this book very interesting, not only from a historical point of view, but for the mere number of coincidences through the ages in the way the concept of a higher being is structured. I'm sure there are those of you will feel I am on the edge of blasphemy but I would disagree. I have always seeked a greater understanding of a process that I relate closer to brainwashing than truly educating, and once again I am reminded of the lack of rhyme or reason to any of this process we know as life and death.
I know in my heart that this will be one of the most difficult weekends of my life and I am so very glad that my wife and kids will be here this afternoon. I am grateful as well to all of you who have shared your thoughts and condolences. It's nice to know that there are people out there who don't know me but are more than willing to just be human and say sorry, and include my family in whatever way the express their beliefs. So, for that I thank you so very much.
Posted by robdesign at April 10, 2004 12:16 PMI have the book you mentioned, and Joseph Campbell, gone but still worshipped, is one person on my all time list of people to be stranded on a desert island with because of his interests.
A large part of my life has been about putting together my own personal religion, one not necessarily of a nameable Yahweh, but one which dictates I treat my fellow humans with as much respect as I can muster being a fallable human myself. So I can totally relate to what you were talking about here: it's all about the small mercies that each man-made religion affords us.
After all, I can't imagine that G-d was the one who said that little boys or girls have to have their pee-pees desicrated. That is certainly not a god who loves humans.
Posted by: tbtine at April 11, 2004 10:21 AMJewish mysticism tells us that god, whether in action, or intenton is unknowable. Mystics theorize that there is an ongoing tension between our "higher selves". linked to god, and our more primitive need driven selves. The exercise of free will is our personal battlefield between these elements. So, for me, there is no issue of fairness. What matters is the quality of your struggle to remain respectful and honorable in dealings with others. Everything gets back to the golden rule. A fairly ponderous book that brings some of the mystic issues under scrutiny is "Opening the Tanya" by Adrian Steinsaltz of Princeton University. The insight and wisdom of these philosophical musings is psychologically sophisticated, but I admit I found it hard going and could only handle a few chapters at a time. There is more to semi retirement than Jerry Springer! BMB
Posted by: at April 11, 2004 08:53 PM