It's what we call in good Southern parlance (I love that word) sippin' whiskey. Now it's not quite the moonshine we occassionally got back in the hills, nor is it the stomach turning grain that we loved to dip into lemonade for an all together good time. Nope, I'm all sophisticated with my sippin' whiskey's these days and I'm drinking some of my b-day MM . So, a special thanks to Shawn, Bill and Jenn who graced me with the gift of not just one bottle but two. Of course, as I'm under duress, I'm limiting myself to one small glass with a lot of ice. No need to get shit-faced on a work night and besides I've grown out that faze of my life, unless of course I'm in the city of New Orleans where it's mandatory to drink and celebrate to the max. I'll be there in a few weeks.
All the bullshit above was just a way to avoid writing this paragraph. Dad's not doing well. Nope, not well at all. He may not even make it to NY for the drug study. That's what I don't understand. You have to be terminal to qualify for the study but you can be too sick to qualify for the drugs that may just extend your life. I guess I'm angry at nobody in particular but I'd just like him to have the opportunity. And I know it's not personal but still, I'm really hoping that they let him in. According to my little sis', Elizabeth, he was really looking forward to that study. Kind of reminds me of when he was supposed to be in that original study about six months ago (interesting, that's how long they gave him without chemo). He saw the docs at MSK in late September and when he went back in the beginning of November, he had become to sick for that study too.
Is it premature to start listing the things that I'm going to miss? Or do I just thank G-d that I have a son and daughter of my own and I can share with them some of the things I was lucky enough to share with my Dad. Let me tell you, this Twilight Zone thing is hard. Dad is eight hours away and all I have is second hand info. The plan was for me to be in NYC for the appointment on Tueseday. Now, I don't know if I should fly home to be by his side or what. I guess I'll just continue to offer myself to Mary Ann as if I'm on call, which is essentially is how I left things with her. You need me, you call me, and I'm on the next fllght out or in a rental car for that long drive. Whatever will get me there, whereever they need me to be. That's all I've got to offer.
Posted by robdesign at April 1, 2004 09:28 PMI'm sorry to hear about the difficult time you are having and facing. I know it is really difficult and not much helps to make it any easier. Just continue to enjoy every precious second with him. I'm sending you energy - don't forget to take care of yourself as well.
Posted by: Wendy at April 1, 2004 10:47 PMSorry he's not doing well Rob.I hope he gets to do the study.
Enjoy your trip to the Big Easy...there are few things better than a trip south!:-)